i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
