Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.