Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
