Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Floor bacon is actually really good
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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