i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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