We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
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My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
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i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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