im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
