do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
