I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
