Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
