i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
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