Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize