Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
