Can Purell be used as lube?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
