who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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