He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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