Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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