i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
