Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
