why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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