Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
