between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
