u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
