Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize