I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
