I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
there is glitter all over my balls
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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