So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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