I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
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I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
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Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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