I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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