Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
