dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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