ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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