we have pet lesbian snakes
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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