Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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