he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
