next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
