Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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