Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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