Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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