we made out on top of his cat.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
