i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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