All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
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