just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
