the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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