I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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