Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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