My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
