He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
