WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
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Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
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Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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