I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
