i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
this will be a night to untag.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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