So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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