I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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