People in love make me want to vomit
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
