Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Randomize
