You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
