why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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