Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
