Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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