Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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