I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
