maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can vaginas get frostbite?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize