you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Mom said you looked used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize