when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize