the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Alive.
So much puke
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
